It’s One Of Those Days….
My cat and I have a little ritaul we seem to follow every night. I’ll go into my bedroom to turn my lamp on and she’ll jump into bed and lie down next to my pillow so I can pet her while I lie there. It’s a little thing and nothing spectacular, but it’s something that I have grown to look forward to every night. It’s comforting.
Not much has happened since the last time I posted, yet a lot has happened. I’ve had a birthday and gotten a new cell phone. I didn’t have a milestone birthday or anything, but it is just one step closer to a decade and even though I don’t feel my age, I am starting to feel old again and I am certainly reflecting more about what is going on and what I would like to happen in my life. For my birthday, I had not 1, not 2, but 3 freaking celebratory meals. Yikes! Since I took my birthday off, my boss took us all out to lunch the previous week. We went to some Chinese restaurant in the downtown area and had a crap load of dim sum.
It was alright. I would have rather gone someplace else, but I wasn’t paying, so no complaints from me. Then the day before my birthday, my Mom and Co Worker took me out to Alan Wong’s Pineapple Room at Macy’s. I love that place. I ended up getting what I always get which is the Caesar Salad with Huli spiced grilled chicken. I don’t know why, but I just felt so grown up that night too. I think it was because when we were being led to the table, I asked the hostess to place us next to a window. Then they accommodated me by making the salad for me, even though it is only on their lunch menu. I am just really glad that my co worker came with me since it gave me an adult to talk to. I really, really, really can’t stand being around my mom anymore. I just wish she would grow the fuck up sometimes, but I know she is stubborn and won’t change her ways since she thinks that she is perfectly fine the way she is.
I was disappointed that they no longer had their sorbet sampler for dessert, but I got the Lilikoi Cheesecake, which was awesome.
I was supposed to go out with a friend of mine on my actual birthday, but she cancelled at the last minute. It was okay though. We went out the next night to Mexico Restaurant. She had the insanely portioned appetizer of beef nachos and I had a chicken burrito.
I also got a new cell phone recently. Well, I actually got 2 new cell phones recently. I finally got a phone with a slideout keyboard from Sprint a little over a month ago, but the dealbreaker on it was that it couldn’t record video. I mean that really shouldn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it’s a feature that I really wanted to have. I finally gave in, switched cell phone companies and got me a G1. I was a little apprehensive about it because it is going to be the most I have ever paid for cell phone service in my life, but it is sooo worth it.
I’ve been with Sprint for just about 11 years now and while I was satisfied with their service, their phones just weren’t keeping up with other companies. I really, really, really, really love the G1. I love that it can synch with my Google contacts, so I can enter in all of my contact information online and it’s on my phone in seconds. I love that I can sync my online calendar with my phone, so again, I can enter stuff online and it’s automatically in my phone. The only thing I am thinking about changing because of that is my gmail though. The gmail I am using now was kind of a throwaway email address that I never really planned on using for anything except as a gmail account. I am just wondering if I should change it and make it something a little more personal. It’s not like it would affect hundreds of people either since only a handful of people know what it is. But I am still thinking about it.
I also finally gave in and called a friend of mine whom I had not spoken to in almost a year to see if he wanted to hang out again sometime. We ended up going to the beach this past weekend, which was just awesome. I hadn’t been to the beach in almost a year and being in the water was just so refreshing. I forgot to charge my underwater camera though. Doh.
I never realized just how much I missed the ocean until I got back in the water. I really need/want to go swimming more often again. Maybe it’s a summer thing – this feeling of just wanting to be more active. I don’t know.
Work has been work the last couple of days. My coworker finally went on vacation, which is great actually. She really needed to get away. Of course, she’s called to check in on me the last couple of days. I had a pretty emotional day yesterday too. I spent a lot of time thinking about something and I really needed something to clear my head. I didn’t bring any of my beach stuff though, so instead I headed down to the Kakaako Waterfront park after work and just sat and watched the ocean for awhile.
I really did need that time to reflect and calm myself, so I am really glad I went.
I am still trying to find myself though, but at least I feel like I have more confidence now than I have over the last couple of years. Well, I still feel vulnerable and alone, but I don’t feel like I am as much of a failure as I have the last couple of years. I am starting to accept me more for who I am and not base it on what I think I should be. I still have a ways to go, but I am getting there, and that is all that matters.
July 9, 2009
